Sunday, April 23, 2006
I'm OK
Well surgery is over and I have finally woken up. Friday I had my lump removed. Everything went well and according to plan. Now I am wrapped up in bandages and I have a drainage tube but besides that I am doing well. Hopefully will have the tube removed tomorrow and will get pathology report on friday.
I'm OK
Well surgery is over and I have finally woken up. Friday I had my lump removed. Everything went well and according to plan. Now I am wrapped up in bandages and I have a drainage tube but besides that I am doing well. Hopefully will have the tube removed tomorrow and will get pathology report on friday.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
About Time
I turned in my last paper and did my last presentation. I have officially finished my MBA!
Monday, April 17, 2006
Easter and the rest
The Easter Bunny still found me. This past weekend Mr. Toad and I went to visit Mr. Engineer. Mom and Dad along with Poppie came to visit as well. It was really very nice. Mr. Engineer gave us a tour of his place of employment. I now have seen the inside of RCR and there are many people out there that would appreciate the opportunity more then I did. But taking a look at Mr. Engineer’s job I was really impressed with what he does. I think that he doesn’t realize how talented he is but I was really amazed at all that he has accomplished and everything he does even if I did not understand everything he said. Made me think though. I will never accomplish anything that anyone can see. Someday when I find a real job I will never be able to point to something and say I did that! Mr. Engineer can point to many things and say I did that or I worked on that. It is tangible. In my up coming time off perhaps I’ll figure out what I want to do when I grow up.
Speaking of time off. I recently made a discovery. There is more then one oncologist. The other day I met with the Radiation oncologist who gave me the pathology report. I don’t know how he got that fun announcement but he was very good about answer questions. My lump is 1.9cm, it is er- and pr- which doesn’t mean a lot to me except that because of the er- and pr- I most likely will have the chemo because my cancer is not responsive to the hormone therapies. The good news just keeps on coming. Well nothing is for sure right now except the surgery on Friday and the radiation some time later. I meet with a Medical Oncologist May 1st to discuss chemo. But despite the recent developments everything looks good and in a few months I can move on with my life. I recently got a letter from a friend who said her husband’s grandmother is a 50 year survivor.
Speaking of time off. I recently made a discovery. There is more then one oncologist. The other day I met with the Radiation oncologist who gave me the pathology report. I don’t know how he got that fun announcement but he was very good about answer questions. My lump is 1.9cm, it is er- and pr- which doesn’t mean a lot to me except that because of the er- and pr- I most likely will have the chemo because my cancer is not responsive to the hormone therapies. The good news just keeps on coming. Well nothing is for sure right now except the surgery on Friday and the radiation some time later. I meet with a Medical Oncologist May 1st to discuss chemo. But despite the recent developments everything looks good and in a few months I can move on with my life. I recently got a letter from a friend who said her husband’s grandmother is a 50 year survivor.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Denial and Introductions
Ok I feel that after much harassment by my friends (oh and Window and Lumpy) I need to clarify. It is not that I don’t appreciate you worrying about me. If roles were reversed I certainly would worry about you all. But if you all continuously ask me if I am ok then that means something is wrong and I no longer can live in my little world of denial.
I guess this is where Window or Lumpy makes some comment about it being typical behavior. Me trying to be tough and making jokes to hide the fact I am terrified. It now looks like I might go out on Short Term Disability in a couple of weeks. I don’t know what happened. Everyone was playing down the seriousness of this and telling me not to worry and that I could get back to work and now people are suggesting I just take the time and stay home and take care of myself until after radiation. I don’t want to play this game anymore. I want a different hand.
Window I kept you hidden because I feared for my safety if you met the likes of Lumpy.
So Window if you ever did anything to upset Mrs. Window your in-laws could take care of you and no one would be the wiser?
I would like to thank Mr. Window and Mr. Lumpy for making me laugh.
Did I ever introduce you? Well Window, Lumpy is my best guy friend from high school. I spent years torturing him and he put up with it. In the end I couldn’t have asked for a better friend growing up and probably didn’t deserve such a good friend. Lumpy, Window was the final conquest before Mr. Toad. He is a great friend. He is a little to much like me in some ways but apparently he seems to be a little to much like you Lumpy. You both have a similar sense of humor and ability to make fun of me. Not that it is hard I know. You both are losing your hair, which reminds me…I may lose some of my hair. Do you have any tips in dealing with being bald?
I guess this is where Window or Lumpy makes some comment about it being typical behavior. Me trying to be tough and making jokes to hide the fact I am terrified. It now looks like I might go out on Short Term Disability in a couple of weeks. I don’t know what happened. Everyone was playing down the seriousness of this and telling me not to worry and that I could get back to work and now people are suggesting I just take the time and stay home and take care of myself until after radiation. I don’t want to play this game anymore. I want a different hand.
Window I kept you hidden because I feared for my safety if you met the likes of Lumpy.
So Window if you ever did anything to upset Mrs. Window your in-laws could take care of you and no one would be the wiser?
I would like to thank Mr. Window and Mr. Lumpy for making me laugh.
Did I ever introduce you? Well Window, Lumpy is my best guy friend from high school. I spent years torturing him and he put up with it. In the end I couldn’t have asked for a better friend growing up and probably didn’t deserve such a good friend. Lumpy, Window was the final conquest before Mr. Toad. He is a great friend. He is a little to much like me in some ways but apparently he seems to be a little to much like you Lumpy. You both have a similar sense of humor and ability to make fun of me. Not that it is hard I know. You both are losing your hair, which reminds me…I may lose some of my hair. Do you have any tips in dealing with being bald?
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
60 years and Flowers
Sorry Lumpy to frighten you. I should have warned you before I started the post but I was just so tired of telling everyone. This way doesn’t really help though. Everyone is now emailing me. I have decided to write one letter and copy/paste as a response to everyone else. Well we all know that I never follow the easy path but I come out alright. This will be no different. Mr. Toad and I have a long ways to go but we will get there. Apparently breast cancer is not the end of the world. It is very treatable and there are millions of survivors out there. I am determined to be a survivor. I am young enough perhaps I can be the longest living survivor. I think I want to be a 60 year survivor.
Well the good news is over the last year I have decided I like pink. Now I lots of outfits to match my pink ribbon. Though sadly enough I lost the back of my pin already but I still have the front so I’ll just steal one from another pin.
Ok through this whole thing I have discovered that I have two kinds of friends. There are those who I fear are going to smother me with their concern. Calling everyday to ask how I am and calling me “poor Toad.” And giving me that look you give a sick puppy. Then there are the friends who I think will never call. It isn’t that they are horrible but they don’t know what to say so they just don’t say anything. I would have to say that before this I was the friend who just didn’t say anything. In the future I am going to try to fall in between. There is a nice medium where a friend asks “How are you?” then they believe you when you say fine and we all move on to whatever activity that was planned. I have the feeling that I am going to learn a lot about the person that I am and the person that I want to be. But it doesn’t matter how my friends try to deal with the news. I love them all and I know I can call any of them and they would help.
Enough seriousness. It is flower time. And Mr. Toad I am sure is planning his defense. I love flowers and love planting them. The thing is I’ll go to the nursery and buy everything. I want at least one of every plant and I want to put them all in our flower gardens. Just imagine how pretty it would be to have all those flowers. All different colors, short, and tall. Every one different and pretty. As many of you can imagine this can get to be expensive so this is the one time of year that Mr. Toad suddenly takes an interest in my spending habits. I say if he can’t buy me flowers I’ll plant my own. He says I don’t need more flowers. Silly boy. A girl can always use more flowers. Just remember that Window. More flowers are more better. Especially when you get in trouble with Mrs. Window. So I have all sorts of ideas for our flower gardens and I need to get it all done early this year. Mr. Toad should be happy this takes my attention away from in the house projects. I have my eye on a closet wall. Maybe when he is telling me I don’t need another rose bush I’ll just point out that I could take that wall down next time he goes to a baseball game. HUMMMM….Excellent plan. For every no Mr. Toad sends my way about the flowers I shall threaten the walls in the house.
Well the good news is over the last year I have decided I like pink. Now I lots of outfits to match my pink ribbon. Though sadly enough I lost the back of my pin already but I still have the front so I’ll just steal one from another pin.
Ok through this whole thing I have discovered that I have two kinds of friends. There are those who I fear are going to smother me with their concern. Calling everyday to ask how I am and calling me “poor Toad.” And giving me that look you give a sick puppy. Then there are the friends who I think will never call. It isn’t that they are horrible but they don’t know what to say so they just don’t say anything. I would have to say that before this I was the friend who just didn’t say anything. In the future I am going to try to fall in between. There is a nice medium where a friend asks “How are you?” then they believe you when you say fine and we all move on to whatever activity that was planned. I have the feeling that I am going to learn a lot about the person that I am and the person that I want to be. But it doesn’t matter how my friends try to deal with the news. I love them all and I know I can call any of them and they would help.
Enough seriousness. It is flower time. And Mr. Toad I am sure is planning his defense. I love flowers and love planting them. The thing is I’ll go to the nursery and buy everything. I want at least one of every plant and I want to put them all in our flower gardens. Just imagine how pretty it would be to have all those flowers. All different colors, short, and tall. Every one different and pretty. As many of you can imagine this can get to be expensive so this is the one time of year that Mr. Toad suddenly takes an interest in my spending habits. I say if he can’t buy me flowers I’ll plant my own. He says I don’t need more flowers. Silly boy. A girl can always use more flowers. Just remember that Window. More flowers are more better. Especially when you get in trouble with Mrs. Window. So I have all sorts of ideas for our flower gardens and I need to get it all done early this year. Mr. Toad should be happy this takes my attention away from in the house projects. I have my eye on a closet wall. Maybe when he is telling me I don’t need another rose bush I’ll just point out that I could take that wall down next time he goes to a baseball game. HUMMMM….Excellent plan. For every no Mr. Toad sends my way about the flowers I shall threaten the walls in the house.
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Life will go on.
Recently I have been attacked. First there was the x-rays and then the MRIs and then the biopsies. A neverending attack of people asking questions and pointing metal objects. Strange tunnels that were not tunnels of love. It was as if everyone else has gone absolutely crazy. What do they mean that I have a lump? What is a lump anyway? Well apparently this is some alien life form that has invaded my body. I feel absolutely fine. I don't really know what to think at this point. Well the results are in. An alien form has invaded my body and must be removed they say. In a few weeks the surgeon will go and make a very small incision and kill the alien life. But to be on the safe side it will be followed up by radiation. Apparently this radiation will make sure the alien life is really dead. I hope that this works otherwise I will just have an angry life form in my chest and that will require more tests, waiting, surgery and chemo. Well it shall all be over soon and I will be ok.
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